Post by bella on Oct 6, 2005 12:35:30 GMT -5
Zavier nearly vibrated as he entered him home and walked immediately over to the phone. If he'd had any less self-control, he probably would have. He picked up the phone, quickly dialed in the number he had found for Alastair in Ireland and anxiously awaited an answer.
Alastair sat on the couch in front of the television, watching law and order when he heard his cell phone buzz on the coffee table. With a sigh he turned and snatched it up, peering at the number. It looked.. like a Japanese number.
It might have been his brother or someone he had met, though he remained speculative. Flipping open the phone, he responded. "Alastair Arawn."
Zavier jumped when someone actually picked up on the other end, and spoke before he had even thought. "Alastair!"
He coughed, and frowned. To him, he had sounded utterly and completely like a giddy school boy. Half-relief, that someone had actually answered and half-startlement.
He made the concious effort to school his voice when he spoke again. "It's Zavier, from Rozen."
Alastair blinked. "Zavier? Let me tell you, you are the LAST person I expected to call me." He thought for a moment. "If you had come in person, I would have punched you for making Traian upset."
Zavier sighed and pressed his fingers to his forehead. "And I utterly would have deserved it." He would've wanted to seriously harm anyone who hurt Traian too. The man was hard not to be attached to. "There were outlying circumstances that delayed my return for -far- longer than I ever intended. But I'm not calling to give a bunch of excuses."
"You best not, or I'll strangle you. I don't want you hurting Traian, he's been through enough. We just barely got him to move here with us and take up another teaching position." Alastair responded, leaning back onto the cushions and muting the television, crossing his long legs at the ankle.
Zavier stifled a growl. Alastair always had to push buttons, didn't he? "You can catch me up to date later, preferably in person." Oh, and here came the part he hated... rejection never sat well with him. "Which brings me to the reason I'm calling. Do you think Traian would be bothered if I came out there? Particularly, if I... or we, if you're accepting, made it a surprise for him?"
Alastair thought about it for a moment. "Well.. it might be a good idea.. he still really likes you- maybe it would bring him out of his slump." Alastiar responded, rubbing his fingers over his chin, looking up to the ceiling.
Zavier breathed a sigh of relief and leaned heavily against the wall. Hn. If only Alastair could see how much he liked Traian too. He hadn't realized how worried he'd been until he'd got back here, and Traian was not there. He certainly wasn't going to wait around and loose him again either. "I'll can catch the next flight out. I am assuming the university is not difficult to find?"
"Well, it's about two hours away from Ennis. You're going to have to take a bus, but it'll say Esras university on it. They run every couple hours. As much as I temporarily hate you for making Traian upset, i'll let you stay at my place until you can surprise him. Flowers, lots of flowers. And an apology and profession of love. That'll make me unhate you."
Zavier clenched his first. Love... now -why- did it always come around to love? "Flowers, definately. Apologies, most sincere and profuse. But I don't even know how he feels about me right now, and I'm sure as hell not going to fling myself at his feet until I do. You're welcome to hate me. I probably would to, in your position. But your hate, one way or another, has no bearings on my feelings for Traian."
"I'll hang up on you." Alastair grinned. "Profess your undying love for Traian. DO IT!" He yelled into the receiver.
Zavier growled audibly and held the phone away as Alastair yelled. "Oh for the love of god, what good do you think that will do Traian? How do you know that I simply wouldn't scare him away?"
"Because HE LOVES YOU TOO! He's just too shy to admit it. I know. I'm his therapist." Alastair beamed, putting his hand on his hip proudly.
Zavier paused for a significant amount of time before speaking. "You're... his therapist..." He stated in disbelief, as if that were the only part of the statement that he heard. He sighed and bowed his head. "Fine, fine... you win. Professions of undying love. If that's what it takes to see him, that's what it takes."
"Awesome! My hate is fading, but will only fade completely when Traian is happy again." Alastair grinned, feeling quite proud of himself
Zavier frowned, and began running through the house, haphazardly packing. "Contrary to possibly popular belief, I want Traian to be happy too, and to that end... I am going to have to get going if I'm going to catch that flight."
"Alright. I'll expect you here ASAP. If you don't arrive tomorrow, I'll fly to Japan, murder you and pack you in my suitcase in small body parts. Kay?"
"Perfectly acceptable. I'll call when I get there." He quickly hung up the phone, not particularly eager for a response and much more concentrated on leaving as quickly as possible. He grabbed whatever he considered neccesary and dashed out the door to the airport.
Zavier arrived about 16 hours later, tired, drained and quite ruffled with his duffel over his shoulder. He flipped opened his cell phone, and quickly dialed up Alastair again.
Meanwhile, while they'd talked on the phone at nine in the evening the night before, it was now almost one in the afternoon. Earlier that morning, Alastair had woken Traian and made him shower and dress, and wear his hair down.
It was the weekend! What was wrong with his friend? Compliance was a must though, as Alastair looked like he might eat the Romanian otherwise. So he did so, only to find that Alastair had gone when he returned to the small living room. "Alastair...?" he asked the empty room. What the hell was going on? Scrawling a small note on paper and sticking it to the door, he set out to Quin and Alastair's room in hopes of finding and scolding him The note read "Alastair, I've gone to find you at your residence, I've left the door open so you can sit and EXPLAIN why you've up and disappeared. Please call my cell when you return..."
Alastair had slipped out of the room to answer his phone. "You here?" He whispered into the reciever.
"No, I'm calling from Budapest... Yes, I'm here." He frowned. He was short on temper from lack of sleep. He smoothed a hand through his hair, attempting to tame the wavy locks. "Where are you? I'm out front."
"I'll come get you. Traian went to go find me, I'll sneak you into his apartment." Alastair grinned, running down the steps to the front of the school. "Hi Zavier!" And Alastair punched him right in the face, though he avoided the nose and breaking any bones. "Now I feel better."
Zavier couldn't help a smile at Traian's name, and thusly was still smiling when Alastair hit him quite unexpectedly, and quite solidly in the face. Being completely caught unawares, he fell backwards much like a mannequin and lay there. "Oh, I simply cannot begin to express my joy for your feeling better." He sneered sarcastically, staring up into the Irish sky. "You know, I'd love to lay here and have you pummel me all day, but now that Traian can see I've been sufficiently punished you think we might put -him- first now instead of your petty vengence?"
"I only wanted one punch." Alastair grinned and grabbed his arm, hauling him back to his feet. "Right, let's go. Where are your flowers?"
Zavier grunted as he was hauled to his feet and rubbed his face, wincing slightly. "At least you made it a good one." He looked around the area. "Since it was a two hour bus ride, and I didn't particularly want to give Traian wilted dead things..." He pulled his duffel around and pulled out some carefully wrapped wildflowers. "I picked some."
Meanwhile, Traian was dismayed to find that only Quin was in the apartment. He was apparently in on the plans, so he kept Traian stalled by making tea.
Alastair had started to pull back his fist for another punch, but once Zavier showed him the wildflowers he dropped his hand. "Good! Let's go hide in Traian's room. I'm going to put you in the bathroom and surprise Traian withyou."
Zavier blinked and then glared at Alastair, particularly his fist. "Why the bathroom?" There was always the possiblity that Alastair might try to drown him.
Alastair led the way. "Because Traian won't expect it. And I'm going to say I recieved a call from my mother. when I say mother, run out of the bathroom and surprise him!"
Zavier paused... then followed and nodded. "Mother... come out and suprise. Got it. Could you make sure he's facing away from the bathroom?"
"I'll do my best." Alastair grinned, reading the note then pushing open the bathroom door and pushing Zavier inside before sitting around and waiting for Traian. He picked up the phone and called the man over.
With a sigh, he sipped at the tea that Quin had made appear. The small Irish man did his best to pacify Traian by explaining that Alastair must have just received a call and had to move to get better reception. However, a moment later the phone rang. "Well... it would seem he's ready to explain why I have to look so ridiculous at midday on a Sunday. You'd think he wanted to go to dinner or something..." the Romanian murmured.
Zavier flopped down on the toilet and carefully unwrapped the flowers. He took the opportunity in the bathroom to freshen up and at least attempt to look respectable whilst listening for the key word.
He departed with the teacup still, assuring that they'd be back together in a few moments. Upon heading into his quarters, he spoke in a mildly frustrated tone. Not annoyed though. He didn't have the capacity to be annoyed. "You know... telling me to dress nice and disappearing is very confusing Alastair..." he said, parallel with the bathroom door.
Alastair walked around to the side, forcing Traian to turn and look at him. "I'm sorry, I recieved A CALL FROM MY MOTHER and had to go outside asnd take it."
Traian blinked and winced. "You don't need to shout... And... why do you have that grin on your face? Please don't tell me you did something bad and now your father really disowned you..." he looked rather concerned.
Zavier thankfully did not have to wait once he heard Traian enter. Alastair certainly did a fine job to ensure he heard him. He quickly stepped out of the bathroom, stalked up behind Traian and slipped his hand with the flowers around in front of the lovely Romanian. "No... for once I think Alastair has done something quite nice."
Traian blinked, and his head turned at a very slow rate to stare over his shoulder. A moment later, his teacup crashed to the floor with a shattering noise. Surprisingly though, the obsessive blonde did nothing but to continue to stare and try to register what had just happened.
Alastair continued to grin broadly, both hands on his hips.
Zavier stood there for a moment, silently offering the flowers to Traian. The silence soon became oppresive, and he sucked in his lower lip. Had Alastair been wrong? ...Well, either way... he'd made a promise. He swallowed, took a deep breath and knelt with his head bowed before Traian in the spilt tea and broken shards of glass, the flowers still held out. "I'm sorry... I'm truly horrid at these things, but I am deeply sorry. I had every intention of returning within the week, and I can't begin to think what I can do to make it up to you. What I've done is, understandably, unforgivable. But regardless of any of that, I had something extremely important to tell you Traian..." He glanced up, staring through his lashes and bangs. "I love you. Truly. I swear, I'm a wreck without you." He laughed faintly, more out of nervousness than anything. He felt like he was rambling as it was.
Traian stared down at him for a while, and eventually took the flowers in silence. He didn't know what he should begin to say. At first he just tried to form words by taking deep breaths. Then he progressed to choking. And then finally broke down crying. "You came b-back? No one has ever done that!"
Alastair continues to grin and does a happy dance inside his head.
Zavier looked up at Traian fully, making every effort to pull down all his masks and defenses, even with Alastair there. Willing his feelings to be plain on his face. Please, please believe me! See me as I am!, he pleaded inwardly. "I never meant to be gone as long as I was. I never wanted to leave your side, or hurt you. If you'd let me, I'd love to be by your side for a good while longer... if you'll have me...."
Traian wiped at his eyes with a sleeve and then looked down at Zavier with a frown. "You know... you're... what is the American slang... a total jerk...."
Zavier inwardly recoiled at Traian's frown and moreso at the harsh words, but he made every attempt to keep at least a shaky smile on his face. "Yes... so Alastair's fists have informed me."
He put up a hand, cutting Zavier off. "For assuming I wouldn't have you back..." the sentence was punctuated by the softest of smiles.
Alastair couldn't hold back a squeel of joy. Yes, Alastair was very gay.
Zavier, tired and weary as he was, did not note the soft smile and simply shut his mouth on anything else he might say. Yep, Alastair was wrong. Not that he didn't deserve this at all.
"Are you going deaf in your old age...?" he asked with a kind voice. "I just said that, to use synonyms... I do accept you..." Traian was bad at humor, and worse for having learned his feeble attempts from Alastair. Perhaps a dramatic pause made the words unclear... You are very foolish to think I would not welcome you back..."
Zavier blinked, temporarily struck dumb. Slowly, he stood up, not looking away from Traian. "I must be." He slowly relaxed and began to smile. "Well, I wouldn't have taken me back..."
"Perhaps thats because you are not me..." he said quietly, looking now down to the messed floor, and then to Zavier's knees which had little bits of teacup sticking to them. Annnnd he'd lost any amount of confidence he had. Well at least he got a few lines out before turning shy.
"Nope... I'm not nearly as sweet or lovely as you." He smiled and stepped forward, hesitantly hugging Traian to him, as if asking permission. To hell with the pants and his knees.
Traian seemed hesitant at first, but he tried to keep the words of Alastair from therapy in mind. Confidence. You're allowed to be happy. He leaned forward, and a moment later his slender arms were clutching the smaller man to him, as if he were afraid he'd disappear again.
Zavier relaxed, thanking whatever gods that be that Traian still accepted him. He pressed his cheek against Traian's chest and hugged him as tight as he dared. He had to squeeze his eyes shut as they stung. He refused to whimper or cry in front of Alastair.
"I thought you were just tired of me... and too afraid to say so... I'm sorry for all the hurt things I thought..." he said quietly.
Zavier shook his head and cracked his eyes to look at Traian. "Don't be... you don't have to be sorry, certainly not to me."
Alastair took the moment to sit down and take cute pictures with his cellular phone.
"I assumed some very hurtful things about you though..." he said softly. "They were not fair it would seem."
"They were fair. You didn't know, and had no other information to work with." He reached up and wound a bit of platinum hair about his finger, like he used to. "You're assumptions were probably alot kinder than mine would've been in your place."
Traian smiled softly, though he looked as if he might burst into tears again. "They were meaner than you might think..." If mean was assuming that Zavier just found him to be a worthless endeavor. No, they were only mean unto Traian himself. It dawned on him then. "I... Erm... What are you... doing while here?"
Zavier paused for a moment, considering. "Did you want to talk about it...?" He paused, then blinked, coming back to the present. "Do? You mean for funds or work?"
After snapping a few more pictures, Alastair quietly excused himself from the room to give the couple time together.
"I... I meant... erm... This won't just be you leaving so quickly as you've come?
Zavier shook his head. "No, I'm not leaving. I plan to put in my application here at the school today, and Alastair has been kind enough to offer me a space at his home to stay for a while." He nuzzled affectionately under Traian's chin. He was definately sleep-deprived to be acting so utterly silly. "I don't intend to be going anywhere."
"I've... missed you very greatly Zavier...." he repeated softly. He was very concerned that it wouldn't last.
"I've missed you too..." He pulled back a bit, just enough so that he could easily look at Traian without letting go. "I should have called, or at least written and I didn't. I'm sorry." He looked down and ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes. "I just got overwhelmed with the funeral and my mother and everything with the rest of her family to deal with."
"It's... alright. I just feared I had offended you greatly.."
Zavier looked up at Traian, confused. "Why would you think you had offended me?"
"Because you left so suddenly and never returned... I thought perhaps it was me..."
"No, it wasn't you at all..." He reached up and gently brushed Traian's cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I'm so sorry... I wish I could change that I'd hurt you so..."
He pushed back the emotions in his throat and nodded. "You must forgive me... that it will take time for me to be so comfortable with you again..."
Zavier nodded, slowly pulling his hand away. "There is nothing to forgive, Traian. It's alright. Take whatever time you need. I'll wait."
"I... I would like it if you did stay for today..." he asked softly.
"I'm not going anywhere." He replied, just as softly. "I'll be here, with you, as long as you want me here."
Rubbing the back of his head, he smiled sheepishly. "So I.... well.... What did you want to do?"
He smiled and shrugged. "I'd like to catch up, if that's alright with you... I have no idea what's happened in my absence." He gestured towards the couch, silently asking if Traian wanted to sit to talk.
Traian nodded, but held a hand. "Give me a moment to clean the mess up..." he said with a gesture to the teacups.
Zavier nodded, and looked about to try and find.. anything to help. "If you tell me where the mop is, I'll help."
"No no, you've made a long trip here.... do not fret, I can get it." Without letting the man argue further, he went about cleaning up.
"But..." Zavier pouted faintly. He hated feeling useless. Granted, he was tired.. but still. He sighed and finally gave in.
Within five minutes or so, the mess was completely clean and he was washing his hands in the bathroom. Coming back to the living room he took a seat down a few feet away from Zavier. "So then..."
Zavier flopped down opposite of Traian, careful not to intrude on his space. "So... other than the obvious, how've you been? Why did you move to Ireland?"
"Quinlan and Alastair convinced me to not stay in Japan alone..." he said, fondness in his voice over the pair. "I've been... better in the last year or so, being away from Rozen."
Zavier frowned slightly, confused. "Why were they moving? Not that it's a bad thing.... but... better? Did something happen?" He didn't remember Traian being -quite- so quiet before. Shy and timid, yes. But he had outgrown some of that in their time together. What else had changed?
"I... things at Rozen were very awful after Blaine, and none of us could stay any longer..."
Zavier raised an eyebrow. He wasn't sure if he should even ask what happened to Blaine... but it wasn't much better leaving things unsaid either. "What... happened to Blaine?"
"Did you not hear?" The man paled some, unable to mention it without thoughts of Blaine's grey matter splattered on the sidewalk....
Zavier shook his head. "No, I didn't... I came back and immediately hunted you down..." He paused, seeing the blood drain from Traian's face. "You don't have to answer. I can find out."
Traian shook his head. "No... It's better if I accept it." After taking in deep breath, he whispered "He threw himself off the building... I was the first on the scene to find him...."
Zavier's eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly in shock. "... he -what??-" Of course, in the back of his mind he had to stifle a very hypocritical exclamation of 'that -brat!-', mostly out of anger for Traian. "I... I don't know what to say... Are you alright?"
Traian sighed wearily. "I... not all the time, but I'm getting better. It was very traumatizing to see."
"I imagine so..." He sucked in his lower lip and chewed on it for a moment. "Well... if you ever need to talk, my ear is open to you. It's no wonder you moved away."
"I couldn't take it... they repaved in front of the school. But it... it wasn't enough."
"You still saw it when you walked by...?" He queried gently as he leaned back into the couch.
"He called me... right before he did it. And any time I passed, all I could see was his corpse..." he shuddered slightly.
He laid a hand on Traian's knee, barely touching him as he did not want to intrude. "Any idea why he called you?"
"Did you not know... All the while we were together, the boy was in love with me. My first week at school I had a concussion from him throwing himself at me. Litereally...."
"I remember he was rather obsessed, but I figured that like most children he would outgrow it."
"Well, apparently finals were too much. And my denying him..." Traian sighed heavily, and it was obvious he sees that it was his own fault.
"I'm sorry to hear that the boy was so disturbed..." He paused. "Traian... you do realize that was his choice... not yours? Therefore, not your fault..." he said softly.
"Everyone says that... but still." A hand came to his forehead and he shook his head weakly.
"Then why is everyone wrong?" He asked simply.
"I... I can't help it. I just... I felt so helpless. And it still haunts me..."
Zavier bowed his head thoughtfully. "Knowing of it, and not being able to help probably makes it worse too. I wish there was something I could do to make things right for you."
"Sadly, there is nothing..." the man sighed and rubbed his temples. Zavier was certainly a blast from the past.
He simply nodded. "I imagined so, but the offers stands, if you need it." Zavier tilted his head to the side, staring at Traian with his rather sleepy, blood-shot eyes. "Am I bothering you? Being here?"
"No... it's just a lot for me to digest, you know? You've done nothing wrong by being here though... I promise."
"I just wanted to make sure..." He smiled sleepily. "I don't want to cause you anymore undue stress."
"You look very weary... would you like to rest before we speak more?"
He considered it briefly, then nodded. 'If that's alright... I haven't slept since Alastair and I talked..." He had to pause and think to figure the time differance. "Sometime yesterday."
"Oh my! Zavier, to bed with you now!" He stood and shooed the other man towards his bedroom.
Zavier nearly jumped at Traian's sudden movement and pulled himself out of the comfy couch, which was where he had every intent of simply passing out on. "Ok ok! I'm going!" he chuckled, amused at Traian's insistence.
The blonde gave him a gentle shove in the direction of his room. "I'll be around the rooms should you need anything. Do not hesitate to come fetch me..." He definitely planned on changing though, and pulling his hair back.
Zavier turned and quickly leaned in to plant a light kiss on Traian's cheek. "Alright... I'll not be a bother to you, promise." He smiled sleepily again and turned, slipping off to the bedroom to fall over, fully clothed, into the bed.
Alastair sat on the couch in front of the television, watching law and order when he heard his cell phone buzz on the coffee table. With a sigh he turned and snatched it up, peering at the number. It looked.. like a Japanese number.
It might have been his brother or someone he had met, though he remained speculative. Flipping open the phone, he responded. "Alastair Arawn."
Zavier jumped when someone actually picked up on the other end, and spoke before he had even thought. "Alastair!"
He coughed, and frowned. To him, he had sounded utterly and completely like a giddy school boy. Half-relief, that someone had actually answered and half-startlement.
He made the concious effort to school his voice when he spoke again. "It's Zavier, from Rozen."
Alastair blinked. "Zavier? Let me tell you, you are the LAST person I expected to call me." He thought for a moment. "If you had come in person, I would have punched you for making Traian upset."
Zavier sighed and pressed his fingers to his forehead. "And I utterly would have deserved it." He would've wanted to seriously harm anyone who hurt Traian too. The man was hard not to be attached to. "There were outlying circumstances that delayed my return for -far- longer than I ever intended. But I'm not calling to give a bunch of excuses."
"You best not, or I'll strangle you. I don't want you hurting Traian, he's been through enough. We just barely got him to move here with us and take up another teaching position." Alastair responded, leaning back onto the cushions and muting the television, crossing his long legs at the ankle.
Zavier stifled a growl. Alastair always had to push buttons, didn't he? "You can catch me up to date later, preferably in person." Oh, and here came the part he hated... rejection never sat well with him. "Which brings me to the reason I'm calling. Do you think Traian would be bothered if I came out there? Particularly, if I... or we, if you're accepting, made it a surprise for him?"
Alastair thought about it for a moment. "Well.. it might be a good idea.. he still really likes you- maybe it would bring him out of his slump." Alastiar responded, rubbing his fingers over his chin, looking up to the ceiling.
Zavier breathed a sigh of relief and leaned heavily against the wall. Hn. If only Alastair could see how much he liked Traian too. He hadn't realized how worried he'd been until he'd got back here, and Traian was not there. He certainly wasn't going to wait around and loose him again either. "I'll can catch the next flight out. I am assuming the university is not difficult to find?"
"Well, it's about two hours away from Ennis. You're going to have to take a bus, but it'll say Esras university on it. They run every couple hours. As much as I temporarily hate you for making Traian upset, i'll let you stay at my place until you can surprise him. Flowers, lots of flowers. And an apology and profession of love. That'll make me unhate you."
Zavier clenched his first. Love... now -why- did it always come around to love? "Flowers, definately. Apologies, most sincere and profuse. But I don't even know how he feels about me right now, and I'm sure as hell not going to fling myself at his feet until I do. You're welcome to hate me. I probably would to, in your position. But your hate, one way or another, has no bearings on my feelings for Traian."
"I'll hang up on you." Alastair grinned. "Profess your undying love for Traian. DO IT!" He yelled into the receiver.
Zavier growled audibly and held the phone away as Alastair yelled. "Oh for the love of god, what good do you think that will do Traian? How do you know that I simply wouldn't scare him away?"
"Because HE LOVES YOU TOO! He's just too shy to admit it. I know. I'm his therapist." Alastair beamed, putting his hand on his hip proudly.
Zavier paused for a significant amount of time before speaking. "You're... his therapist..." He stated in disbelief, as if that were the only part of the statement that he heard. He sighed and bowed his head. "Fine, fine... you win. Professions of undying love. If that's what it takes to see him, that's what it takes."
"Awesome! My hate is fading, but will only fade completely when Traian is happy again." Alastair grinned, feeling quite proud of himself
Zavier frowned, and began running through the house, haphazardly packing. "Contrary to possibly popular belief, I want Traian to be happy too, and to that end... I am going to have to get going if I'm going to catch that flight."
"Alright. I'll expect you here ASAP. If you don't arrive tomorrow, I'll fly to Japan, murder you and pack you in my suitcase in small body parts. Kay?"
"Perfectly acceptable. I'll call when I get there." He quickly hung up the phone, not particularly eager for a response and much more concentrated on leaving as quickly as possible. He grabbed whatever he considered neccesary and dashed out the door to the airport.
Zavier arrived about 16 hours later, tired, drained and quite ruffled with his duffel over his shoulder. He flipped opened his cell phone, and quickly dialed up Alastair again.
Meanwhile, while they'd talked on the phone at nine in the evening the night before, it was now almost one in the afternoon. Earlier that morning, Alastair had woken Traian and made him shower and dress, and wear his hair down.
It was the weekend! What was wrong with his friend? Compliance was a must though, as Alastair looked like he might eat the Romanian otherwise. So he did so, only to find that Alastair had gone when he returned to the small living room. "Alastair...?" he asked the empty room. What the hell was going on? Scrawling a small note on paper and sticking it to the door, he set out to Quin and Alastair's room in hopes of finding and scolding him The note read "Alastair, I've gone to find you at your residence, I've left the door open so you can sit and EXPLAIN why you've up and disappeared. Please call my cell when you return..."
Alastair had slipped out of the room to answer his phone. "You here?" He whispered into the reciever.
"No, I'm calling from Budapest... Yes, I'm here." He frowned. He was short on temper from lack of sleep. He smoothed a hand through his hair, attempting to tame the wavy locks. "Where are you? I'm out front."
"I'll come get you. Traian went to go find me, I'll sneak you into his apartment." Alastair grinned, running down the steps to the front of the school. "Hi Zavier!" And Alastair punched him right in the face, though he avoided the nose and breaking any bones. "Now I feel better."
Zavier couldn't help a smile at Traian's name, and thusly was still smiling when Alastair hit him quite unexpectedly, and quite solidly in the face. Being completely caught unawares, he fell backwards much like a mannequin and lay there. "Oh, I simply cannot begin to express my joy for your feeling better." He sneered sarcastically, staring up into the Irish sky. "You know, I'd love to lay here and have you pummel me all day, but now that Traian can see I've been sufficiently punished you think we might put -him- first now instead of your petty vengence?"
"I only wanted one punch." Alastair grinned and grabbed his arm, hauling him back to his feet. "Right, let's go. Where are your flowers?"
Zavier grunted as he was hauled to his feet and rubbed his face, wincing slightly. "At least you made it a good one." He looked around the area. "Since it was a two hour bus ride, and I didn't particularly want to give Traian wilted dead things..." He pulled his duffel around and pulled out some carefully wrapped wildflowers. "I picked some."
Meanwhile, Traian was dismayed to find that only Quin was in the apartment. He was apparently in on the plans, so he kept Traian stalled by making tea.
Alastair had started to pull back his fist for another punch, but once Zavier showed him the wildflowers he dropped his hand. "Good! Let's go hide in Traian's room. I'm going to put you in the bathroom and surprise Traian withyou."
Zavier blinked and then glared at Alastair, particularly his fist. "Why the bathroom?" There was always the possiblity that Alastair might try to drown him.
Alastair led the way. "Because Traian won't expect it. And I'm going to say I recieved a call from my mother. when I say mother, run out of the bathroom and surprise him!"
Zavier paused... then followed and nodded. "Mother... come out and suprise. Got it. Could you make sure he's facing away from the bathroom?"
"I'll do my best." Alastair grinned, reading the note then pushing open the bathroom door and pushing Zavier inside before sitting around and waiting for Traian. He picked up the phone and called the man over.
With a sigh, he sipped at the tea that Quin had made appear. The small Irish man did his best to pacify Traian by explaining that Alastair must have just received a call and had to move to get better reception. However, a moment later the phone rang. "Well... it would seem he's ready to explain why I have to look so ridiculous at midday on a Sunday. You'd think he wanted to go to dinner or something..." the Romanian murmured.
Zavier flopped down on the toilet and carefully unwrapped the flowers. He took the opportunity in the bathroom to freshen up and at least attempt to look respectable whilst listening for the key word.
He departed with the teacup still, assuring that they'd be back together in a few moments. Upon heading into his quarters, he spoke in a mildly frustrated tone. Not annoyed though. He didn't have the capacity to be annoyed. "You know... telling me to dress nice and disappearing is very confusing Alastair..." he said, parallel with the bathroom door.
Alastair walked around to the side, forcing Traian to turn and look at him. "I'm sorry, I recieved A CALL FROM MY MOTHER and had to go outside asnd take it."
Traian blinked and winced. "You don't need to shout... And... why do you have that grin on your face? Please don't tell me you did something bad and now your father really disowned you..." he looked rather concerned.
Zavier thankfully did not have to wait once he heard Traian enter. Alastair certainly did a fine job to ensure he heard him. He quickly stepped out of the bathroom, stalked up behind Traian and slipped his hand with the flowers around in front of the lovely Romanian. "No... for once I think Alastair has done something quite nice."
Traian blinked, and his head turned at a very slow rate to stare over his shoulder. A moment later, his teacup crashed to the floor with a shattering noise. Surprisingly though, the obsessive blonde did nothing but to continue to stare and try to register what had just happened.
Alastair continued to grin broadly, both hands on his hips.
Zavier stood there for a moment, silently offering the flowers to Traian. The silence soon became oppresive, and he sucked in his lower lip. Had Alastair been wrong? ...Well, either way... he'd made a promise. He swallowed, took a deep breath and knelt with his head bowed before Traian in the spilt tea and broken shards of glass, the flowers still held out. "I'm sorry... I'm truly horrid at these things, but I am deeply sorry. I had every intention of returning within the week, and I can't begin to think what I can do to make it up to you. What I've done is, understandably, unforgivable. But regardless of any of that, I had something extremely important to tell you Traian..." He glanced up, staring through his lashes and bangs. "I love you. Truly. I swear, I'm a wreck without you." He laughed faintly, more out of nervousness than anything. He felt like he was rambling as it was.
Traian stared down at him for a while, and eventually took the flowers in silence. He didn't know what he should begin to say. At first he just tried to form words by taking deep breaths. Then he progressed to choking. And then finally broke down crying. "You came b-back? No one has ever done that!"
Alastair continues to grin and does a happy dance inside his head.
Zavier looked up at Traian fully, making every effort to pull down all his masks and defenses, even with Alastair there. Willing his feelings to be plain on his face. Please, please believe me! See me as I am!, he pleaded inwardly. "I never meant to be gone as long as I was. I never wanted to leave your side, or hurt you. If you'd let me, I'd love to be by your side for a good while longer... if you'll have me...."
Traian wiped at his eyes with a sleeve and then looked down at Zavier with a frown. "You know... you're... what is the American slang... a total jerk...."
Zavier inwardly recoiled at Traian's frown and moreso at the harsh words, but he made every attempt to keep at least a shaky smile on his face. "Yes... so Alastair's fists have informed me."
He put up a hand, cutting Zavier off. "For assuming I wouldn't have you back..." the sentence was punctuated by the softest of smiles.
Alastair couldn't hold back a squeel of joy. Yes, Alastair was very gay.
Zavier, tired and weary as he was, did not note the soft smile and simply shut his mouth on anything else he might say. Yep, Alastair was wrong. Not that he didn't deserve this at all.
"Are you going deaf in your old age...?" he asked with a kind voice. "I just said that, to use synonyms... I do accept you..." Traian was bad at humor, and worse for having learned his feeble attempts from Alastair. Perhaps a dramatic pause made the words unclear... You are very foolish to think I would not welcome you back..."
Zavier blinked, temporarily struck dumb. Slowly, he stood up, not looking away from Traian. "I must be." He slowly relaxed and began to smile. "Well, I wouldn't have taken me back..."
"Perhaps thats because you are not me..." he said quietly, looking now down to the messed floor, and then to Zavier's knees which had little bits of teacup sticking to them. Annnnd he'd lost any amount of confidence he had. Well at least he got a few lines out before turning shy.
"Nope... I'm not nearly as sweet or lovely as you." He smiled and stepped forward, hesitantly hugging Traian to him, as if asking permission. To hell with the pants and his knees.
Traian seemed hesitant at first, but he tried to keep the words of Alastair from therapy in mind. Confidence. You're allowed to be happy. He leaned forward, and a moment later his slender arms were clutching the smaller man to him, as if he were afraid he'd disappear again.
Zavier relaxed, thanking whatever gods that be that Traian still accepted him. He pressed his cheek against Traian's chest and hugged him as tight as he dared. He had to squeeze his eyes shut as they stung. He refused to whimper or cry in front of Alastair.
"I thought you were just tired of me... and too afraid to say so... I'm sorry for all the hurt things I thought..." he said quietly.
Zavier shook his head and cracked his eyes to look at Traian. "Don't be... you don't have to be sorry, certainly not to me."
Alastair took the moment to sit down and take cute pictures with his cellular phone.
"I assumed some very hurtful things about you though..." he said softly. "They were not fair it would seem."
"They were fair. You didn't know, and had no other information to work with." He reached up and wound a bit of platinum hair about his finger, like he used to. "You're assumptions were probably alot kinder than mine would've been in your place."
Traian smiled softly, though he looked as if he might burst into tears again. "They were meaner than you might think..." If mean was assuming that Zavier just found him to be a worthless endeavor. No, they were only mean unto Traian himself. It dawned on him then. "I... Erm... What are you... doing while here?"
Zavier paused for a moment, considering. "Did you want to talk about it...?" He paused, then blinked, coming back to the present. "Do? You mean for funds or work?"
After snapping a few more pictures, Alastair quietly excused himself from the room to give the couple time together.
"I... I meant... erm... This won't just be you leaving so quickly as you've come?
Zavier shook his head. "No, I'm not leaving. I plan to put in my application here at the school today, and Alastair has been kind enough to offer me a space at his home to stay for a while." He nuzzled affectionately under Traian's chin. He was definately sleep-deprived to be acting so utterly silly. "I don't intend to be going anywhere."
"I've... missed you very greatly Zavier...." he repeated softly. He was very concerned that it wouldn't last.
"I've missed you too..." He pulled back a bit, just enough so that he could easily look at Traian without letting go. "I should have called, or at least written and I didn't. I'm sorry." He looked down and ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes. "I just got overwhelmed with the funeral and my mother and everything with the rest of her family to deal with."
"It's... alright. I just feared I had offended you greatly.."
Zavier looked up at Traian, confused. "Why would you think you had offended me?"
"Because you left so suddenly and never returned... I thought perhaps it was me..."
"No, it wasn't you at all..." He reached up and gently brushed Traian's cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I'm so sorry... I wish I could change that I'd hurt you so..."
He pushed back the emotions in his throat and nodded. "You must forgive me... that it will take time for me to be so comfortable with you again..."
Zavier nodded, slowly pulling his hand away. "There is nothing to forgive, Traian. It's alright. Take whatever time you need. I'll wait."
"I... I would like it if you did stay for today..." he asked softly.
"I'm not going anywhere." He replied, just as softly. "I'll be here, with you, as long as you want me here."
Rubbing the back of his head, he smiled sheepishly. "So I.... well.... What did you want to do?"
He smiled and shrugged. "I'd like to catch up, if that's alright with you... I have no idea what's happened in my absence." He gestured towards the couch, silently asking if Traian wanted to sit to talk.
Traian nodded, but held a hand. "Give me a moment to clean the mess up..." he said with a gesture to the teacups.
Zavier nodded, and looked about to try and find.. anything to help. "If you tell me where the mop is, I'll help."
"No no, you've made a long trip here.... do not fret, I can get it." Without letting the man argue further, he went about cleaning up.
"But..." Zavier pouted faintly. He hated feeling useless. Granted, he was tired.. but still. He sighed and finally gave in.
Within five minutes or so, the mess was completely clean and he was washing his hands in the bathroom. Coming back to the living room he took a seat down a few feet away from Zavier. "So then..."
Zavier flopped down opposite of Traian, careful not to intrude on his space. "So... other than the obvious, how've you been? Why did you move to Ireland?"
"Quinlan and Alastair convinced me to not stay in Japan alone..." he said, fondness in his voice over the pair. "I've been... better in the last year or so, being away from Rozen."
Zavier frowned slightly, confused. "Why were they moving? Not that it's a bad thing.... but... better? Did something happen?" He didn't remember Traian being -quite- so quiet before. Shy and timid, yes. But he had outgrown some of that in their time together. What else had changed?
"I... things at Rozen were very awful after Blaine, and none of us could stay any longer..."
Zavier raised an eyebrow. He wasn't sure if he should even ask what happened to Blaine... but it wasn't much better leaving things unsaid either. "What... happened to Blaine?"
"Did you not hear?" The man paled some, unable to mention it without thoughts of Blaine's grey matter splattered on the sidewalk....
Zavier shook his head. "No, I didn't... I came back and immediately hunted you down..." He paused, seeing the blood drain from Traian's face. "You don't have to answer. I can find out."
Traian shook his head. "No... It's better if I accept it." After taking in deep breath, he whispered "He threw himself off the building... I was the first on the scene to find him...."
Zavier's eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly in shock. "... he -what??-" Of course, in the back of his mind he had to stifle a very hypocritical exclamation of 'that -brat!-', mostly out of anger for Traian. "I... I don't know what to say... Are you alright?"
Traian sighed wearily. "I... not all the time, but I'm getting better. It was very traumatizing to see."
"I imagine so..." He sucked in his lower lip and chewed on it for a moment. "Well... if you ever need to talk, my ear is open to you. It's no wonder you moved away."
"I couldn't take it... they repaved in front of the school. But it... it wasn't enough."
"You still saw it when you walked by...?" He queried gently as he leaned back into the couch.
"He called me... right before he did it. And any time I passed, all I could see was his corpse..." he shuddered slightly.
He laid a hand on Traian's knee, barely touching him as he did not want to intrude. "Any idea why he called you?"
"Did you not know... All the while we were together, the boy was in love with me. My first week at school I had a concussion from him throwing himself at me. Litereally...."
"I remember he was rather obsessed, but I figured that like most children he would outgrow it."
"Well, apparently finals were too much. And my denying him..." Traian sighed heavily, and it was obvious he sees that it was his own fault.
"I'm sorry to hear that the boy was so disturbed..." He paused. "Traian... you do realize that was his choice... not yours? Therefore, not your fault..." he said softly.
"Everyone says that... but still." A hand came to his forehead and he shook his head weakly.
"Then why is everyone wrong?" He asked simply.
"I... I can't help it. I just... I felt so helpless. And it still haunts me..."
Zavier bowed his head thoughtfully. "Knowing of it, and not being able to help probably makes it worse too. I wish there was something I could do to make things right for you."
"Sadly, there is nothing..." the man sighed and rubbed his temples. Zavier was certainly a blast from the past.
He simply nodded. "I imagined so, but the offers stands, if you need it." Zavier tilted his head to the side, staring at Traian with his rather sleepy, blood-shot eyes. "Am I bothering you? Being here?"
"No... it's just a lot for me to digest, you know? You've done nothing wrong by being here though... I promise."
"I just wanted to make sure..." He smiled sleepily. "I don't want to cause you anymore undue stress."
"You look very weary... would you like to rest before we speak more?"
He considered it briefly, then nodded. 'If that's alright... I haven't slept since Alastair and I talked..." He had to pause and think to figure the time differance. "Sometime yesterday."
"Oh my! Zavier, to bed with you now!" He stood and shooed the other man towards his bedroom.
Zavier nearly jumped at Traian's sudden movement and pulled himself out of the comfy couch, which was where he had every intent of simply passing out on. "Ok ok! I'm going!" he chuckled, amused at Traian's insistence.
The blonde gave him a gentle shove in the direction of his room. "I'll be around the rooms should you need anything. Do not hesitate to come fetch me..." He definitely planned on changing though, and pulling his hair back.
Zavier turned and quickly leaned in to plant a light kiss on Traian's cheek. "Alright... I'll not be a bother to you, promise." He smiled sleepily again and turned, slipping off to the bedroom to fall over, fully clothed, into the bed.